Denial
- is in his mid 20's - is a taurus male(all you perverts can leave now) - always craves for good music - will never put up naked pictures of himself here(all you perverts who are still here can finally get lost now) - will realise his dream of travelling around the world - will own properties and one of which is a resort by a beautiful beach - hopes to strike 1st division lottery someday so that he can bum professionally - is currently brain dead and will continue some other timeSaturday, October 16, 2004
Picture perfect.
Current track: Alanis Morrisette - That I would be good
Current mood: Pleasant
The older you get, the more frequent it is that commonplace objects will inadvertently trigger flashbacks. On the street, a Nissan I used to ferry a special someone around. Outside a pub, an occasion which the employee had to pour ice cold water onto me to sober me up. Past a bank, where I used to flirt and pinch the receptionist's butt cheekily whenever I visit.
Ok I lied about the bank part.
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So I left shortly after dinner at Clarke Quay's Satay Club last night. Had more often than not, felt like a "light bulb" whenever three of us were together, be it at home or outside. But that was not the reason why I didn't join mom and her man for more drinks elsewhere.
Walking around snapping flicks freely is kinda therapeutic in a strange way. There's something about taking pictures that I can't explain. A moment captured through the lenses pleases me especially if the image turned out good. Like I have been waiting my whole life for this.
Mom's darn lucky to get a digicam like this especially with minimal prior knowledge. Nothing much to complain about, only that there's no audio when I record a video and also, sometimes I feel that it's field of focus is frustratingly small, like a virgin's vagina.
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Found myself at Esplanade, still heating up from the jugs of beer during dinner. Friday night's weekend crowd, everyone looking good and cheerful. Here and there are free-spirited tourists, people knocked off from work socialising among drinks and booze, couples whirled up in their world of romance, girls and boys dressed up for a night of fun or clubbing. And old men fishing in the middle of nowhere.
Looking out to the sea with deep thoughts, being oblivious to the people and the world around him. A lifetime full of stories and experiences that runs through his wrinkled body. I was glad I was able to take this picture without him chasing me away with his rod.
I wondered how it will be like when I reach his age and what I will be doing then. With much hope, I will probably either still heading a company I own or realising my dreams of taking vacations around the globe and chilling at my resort.
Either which, I wished to have my future wife still alive with me whatever happens then, eventually growing old together in a house in a valley besides a river, having our kids visiting us with theirs...
...then I noticed a group of gorgeous females giggling at me, probably 'cause I looked stupidly-charming daydreaming while standing in the middle of nowhere.
I wondered along as I clicked and snapped, thinking more into the larger questions of life which are then supplanted by more immediate concerns like Why the fuck is this person looking at me this way, Is my phone gonna conk out on me and Did I zip up my fly before I left the toilet just now.
I can’t help but think about the ships I’ve missed, others I’ve passed on and still others I’m unaware I already have tickets for. I think about the times I’ve spent sitting in cabs, buses and planes while the clock hands revolve faster than the planet and my bank balance goes up and more often than not, down.
The thing I hate to admit is that way deep inside me, is a trying-to-clear-the-mess-within, often reflective, depressed fuck. I know I need to fix some things and I am down on working on them already, but some things can’t be fixed and others require time.
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Don't wanna think no more. Made my way to the station and found a seat on the train, occasionally taking surreptitious glances at people in reflective surfaces while looking at my fresh collection of photos. Looking forward to the weekend full of beach volleyball and bikini girls. And maybe, a surprise.
After taking this pic, I proceeded over to the people sitting down and beat them repeatedly with a large stick for blocking my shot.
Ok I lied again.
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